Huggies ( version jan05)
There is a new phenomenon in town.
The life sized asexual blow-up doll,
HUGGIES
They come with a fully built in battery operated system which:
1) Warms them up to 36.7 degree Celsius.
2) Movable arms and legs which curves into spooning position with a press of a button.
3) 4 squeeze options: Relaxed, Tight, Super tight and Short- spurts- squash- me- breathless- tight.
In the month that it has been released into the market, over a million copies of Huggies have been sold in industrialized nations all over the world.
Satisfied customers swear by their Huggies:
“I used to wake up sad and empty, but ever since I got my Huggies, I have been sleeping well and deep every night, it’s like having my late husband right next to me again, but now its even better! I don’t have to deal with his snoring, or get up early in the morning to prepare breakfast. My Huggies gives me all the TLC that I need - without the fuss!”
(Cheryl 51 yrs, Retired School Teacher).
“Crytalbella, my Huggies, is the best girlfriend a man can have. Every time I come home, I press her belly button, and receive the biggest hug ever. I am thinking of buying her a blond wig and maybe even a swimsuit… I am going on my annual holiday in the Bahamas next week. I can’t imagine going without her! The best thing is, she is conveniently de-flatable so I would not have to buy an extra air ticket. Just squash her flat, put her in a suitcase and off we go! No complaints, no whining, no extra cost, just good hugs, all day long! She floats in the water too! What a lovely companion!”
(Henry, 34 yrs, Private Investment Banker)
Psychologist Dr Ruth Tan diagnoses this as a worrying trend:
“The immense popularity of the Huggies stems from our innate inability to connect fully with a fellow human being. Dysfunctional relationships, the lack of real physical and emotional contact have alienated individuals from one another. We are at a postmodern age where sex is no longer about an intimate connection, but has been reduced to an act akin to a physical itch we have to satisfy, much like eating and defecating. Thus, a non-threatening, undemanding plastic figure which can offer us an imitation of intimacy becomes far more desirable and accessible then any living person within our social vicinity. I guess sometimes, people just need a good hug.”
Mattel 21st Century- the company responsible for the production of Huggies, is now in the process of launching new, revamped and improved models of the original: the Huggies Male 101 and the Huggies Female 102. It won’t be long now before costumers could choose the sex of their Huggies off the shelf, and even available at slightly higher value, custom-made according to their required physical specifications. However, do not expect your Huggies to come with any orifices or genitals. Mr. Brian Greenhouse, spokesperson for Mattel 21st Century, stresses that “Huggies is not meant to be a sex toy. Our company believes in inventing wholesome products that will encourage the increase of emotional and mental well-being in our valued costumers.”
For more information, or to purchase your own Huggies, visit:
www.huggieslovesyou.com
mww
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